the otherlight

Despite the fact that I had been sleeping all day I was exhausted. I felt that if I wanted to have a chance to actually leave the house in the morning, I would be well advised not to sleep in my own room this night. I yawned and turned off Phoebe’s desk light. The room was immediately filled with the grey shadowless otherlight that I had been observing before though that night it failed to make me happy. I could have added to my list: “The light is shimmering, it is the otherlight”. It seemed to me that I was caught in a parallel universe where everything was an exact replica of my regular world – with the exception of myself who was just passing through. Hopefully. For a moment it occurred to me that every world I might experience was just a replica of some unknown original, a restaging, but I hastily left that thought because it caused vertigo.  I took off my jeans and slid under Phoebe’s bedcovers, disturbing her neatly arranged stuffed animals. I looked for Ms. Little Bear, pulled her under the covers and took her in my arms. “Don’t you worry, Ms. Little Bear,” I told her, “everything will be OK. I promise.” Curling up around her in a fetal position I went to sleep.

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